We have a saying in Judaism that goes something like “Hashem Gives Us What We Need” and the idea behind it is that every moment is a growing opportunity that, if we pay attention, we can use to develop spiritually. Hand-in-hand with this is the idea that we never are given a test that is beyond our ability to cope with.

We see this in everyday life in things like strained finances and relationships, physical limitations and illness, or confused thoughts that we can’t make sense of. Thoughtless individuals can see these occurrences as something out of their control, which leads to thoughts of worry, frustration and a feeling of being a victim of a cruel world.

The person of Emuna, a deep and sure knowledge that Hashem is calling the shots, accepts the challenge and works through it to reach a higher level on the other side; a place where conscious action brings about desired changes that resolve the issue once and for all.

Thus, we see the double-edged sword. Let’s use strained finances as an example. It is tempting to assume that poverty is a gift from Hashem to foster a sense of compassion and humility, and it is. Such a person should learn to pray that they be given the proper means of support and trust that it will come to them.

So, do they lay around in bed and wait for it to come? Of course not! Instead, they should hustle to make a living and follow up on their ideas that can bring them the income they need. Additionally, it will help to reduce their needs and bring them in line with reality. A person of Emuna believes that their current struggles will be resolved when the lesson has been learned and just keeps on trying until they do.

The opposite of this is worry and fear. These attitudes amount to second-guessing Hashem and doubt in the divine providence that fills the world. These people become depressed victims of life who say things like “why bother” and “I’m not worthy of receiving blessing.” They are defeated before they even begin.

A more extreme example can be found in strained relationships. If a person is plagued with a nagging spouse, it is easy to think that they are wrong and ignore the growth opportunity in that they just may be right. Rabbi Shalom Arush, in his book “The Garden of Peace,” brings us an important counter-concept that your spouse works as a mirror of yourself and that whatever comes from their mouth points to a deficiency in yourself.

This radical perspective allows a person to pick up the challenge and resolve it. If accused of being lazy, then do something. When called a jerk, then try being nice. Then, the nagging ends and true personal growth will be achieved. Seems simple enough.

One must move past a blind acceptance of their hardships into a path of action. This is where Emuna comes into play. If one does what they feel is necessary and still do not gain the desired result, then they must not have performed the correct action. If so, then they need to pray for a new idea and follow up on it. In this way, they will eventually reach the proper soul correction and achieve a place of true happiness and contentment.

Digitizing documents for online storage is a big deal

It is truly one of my favorite things to grab a snapshot of my mac‘s desktop while mid-project. Each screen capture (shft | cmnd | 4) is a work of art, but as a genre they tend to be a bit homogeneous. Since the tools used in each project are usually the same, most of the graphical elements of the resulting image are the same. It’s only in the details that the true meaning is found. It’s all context.

Jews are big on context. Throughout our learning are countless cases where our words and intentions determine the outcome. In our lives, we have the ability to make decisions and act accordingly and get on with the task of living. We all have gifts and skills with which we battle the world, some dull and some sharp. Our toolsets determine the scale of our lives. But the content, the workings in all the windows of the mind, is a wondrous thing and we are lucky for even a moment’s clarity. Usually, for me, it’s a big muddy mess.

For instance, the headmaster at the Akiva School requested “The court order of custody and the conversion certificates relating to the conversions you mentioned in the application.” Easy enough. I had the paper copies in a file and I knew right where that was. Scan to .pdf done! The physical task of gathering evidence was done, but the spiritual task of explaining it all hasn’t even begun! Only in the explaining does any of the mess above serve its purpose.

Every school, and every administrator within those schools, has asked the same questions about origin and accountability. How long have we been asked such questions! It was a bone of contention during my conversion that many born Jewish could seemingly care less while I threw off everything (still in the process of that) to gain what they take for granted as a birthright. All the schools want to protect against cultural infection, as best they can, and as they should. It’s a good thing.

Since I am on my soapbox now (did you notice) I’ll allow a little rant about Jewish Kids in Public School. Some parents, particularly single ones, struggle to raise their kids and make bad choices along the way. Consequences percolate gradually, then suddenly. Lots of jewish kids go to public school and they are still good kids. Assimilated and drowned in pop culture? True. Exposed to serious threats to their yiddishkeit? Certainly. But, if the context (that again?) is one of Jewish Identity, these kids also can grow through the proven methods of Torah and Mitzvot just the same. The private schools don’t contain but a fraction of the religious students that would prefer to be elsewhere.

For my kids to get into a school, I have applications into a city I wish to move to and also the one where I am. Funding was procured for a local school and diverted to the other. Getting it back requires proofs. (ugh!) The whole tuition thing was always the problem way back when. The San Diego rabbis have been told we are staying here, and we are, this year. The admin there is the one who needs Proofs of my Jewishness and I really need to see where that whole thing goes. I still believe it is good for my kids to get into a strong community, and I loved Oak Park and the people there. The only thing that is resolved in this whole deal is that my kids can return to their public schools after the summer. Ouch!

So what’s a man to do? I wish I could tell you. In the mean time, between prayer and learning, between raising kids and earning a living, between good times and bad, I’m busy. So, enough of this!

I’m a blogger. That’s what I do and have been doing pretty much since blogging began. I can guarantee (guaranteed results!) that I will do something related to this tomorrow. All these years in the internet business being constantly plugged into my web-self recording moments and situations before they slip off to wherever they go has created a habit and tradition. This constant connectness has become standard issue for folks my kid’s ages, but early on it was a labor of love. Being ethereal, posts are usually a timely, breaking-news sort of thing. Toss offs rarely seen. That has changed.

The other day, I was extremely fortunate to sit in as several best-girlfriends calmly discussed the “Shidduch Resume” and the application process. (typical remark: “polished tonails are allowed if within closed-toed sandals. Open-toed sandals can only be worn without tonail polish.”) Within this network-based matchmaking pool, boys have the first right-of-refusal, or send their resume to the girl. Text messages are used, as are social network tools like facebook. Everyone knows everyone.

I’m trying to get my daughter out of public school and this very connectness is the stumbling block at the private school. Knowing everybody spreads information, and not all of it good. The fact that she has a facebook full of “friends” who could never go to her private school is a problem. The Loshon Hora she spoke about herself (that’s right!) did its dirty work and dashed a nice girl’s hopes, for now.

This post itself would not exist without a similar redesign. Bringing my blogs to the root of my own homepage makes every link fully accountable. There is no hiding behind a profile’s username when putting words out there. Nonetheless, I am a blogger so it serves me well to make my work accessible to all and filter accordingly. This phoenix is rising from the ashes of a huge purge of a 17-year detritus of web development spanning an incredible career. As my growing responsibilities force me into a public face, my blogs have to grow with me.

I have found, in the last couple months, that a person can put on new clothes and stand up a little straighter and that will flavor their prayer and learning with some sense of seriousness. I realize now that a person’s web presence needs to be upright for the actual person to be. We meet now first in cyberspace and only later in physicality. The web outgrew being a playtoy long ago. Now it needs to be treated with respect and even a little bit of fear.