Hashem Elokim said, “It is not good for Man to be alone. I will make for him a helper opposite him.”

The midrash, cited by Rashi, famously relates that if a person merits, his wife will be a “helper;” if not, she will be opposite him.

This does not mean that the undeserving are punished with wives who constantly battle them, in the sense of the opposition offered by an enemy or competitor. Nothing in the text supports or demands such an explanation.

Rather, it means that she was created to be opposite him, to offer a different voice and perspective from his, particularly when he acts out on some deficiency.

A person whose behavior at a given moment is shaped by some character flaw might enjoy and appreciate the full support of his wife. This, of course, is short-sighted and counterproductive. His real interests are much better served by a wife who is critical of him, when her criticism is delivered for a constructive purpose.

He won’t learn unless someone is there to point out his errors and deficiencies. He might wince in pain at her opposition, but by preventing him from acting inappropriately, she acts as his true helper. Her opposition is the best assistance he can receive; it is no genuine opposition at all

This is precisely what Chazal mean. If he merits, her opposition itself will help him. If he does not merit the good wife, she will not oppose his baser behavior, but go along with all he does, including activities that are harmful to him.

The cheerful assistance of the yes-woman may bring a short-sighted smile to his face, but it gets him nowhere in the long run. Her apparent help and assistance are inconsistent with his best interests.

She is the wife who is truly “opposite” him. (from “The Timeless Rav Hirsch”)