Last week was Tisha B’Av and, to be honest, I have always had a bit of trouble relating to the destruction of the Temple and how it affects me personally all these years later. We are told that the second temple was destroyed due to the sin of sinat chinam (baseless hatred) and in contemplating this I found meaning in the day that I could identify with.

You see, I participate regularly sinat chinam in the way I treat people, including my own family. It’s one thing to talk down to others and feel better than them. It’s entirely another to bully your own children into being who I think they should be. It’s a BAD thing either way and a source of strife that spreads poison

Eliezer Cohen writes “to a person like this even G-d Himself is of secondary importance. Of course he admits that G-d does exist. He may even be a very religious man. But for him, he is the center of the universe, not G-d.” Talk about chutzpah!

Ramban states concerning this weeks parsha, that Bnei Yisrael were tested in the desert so that they could be rewarded for tolerating the inconveniences of, and frightening times in, the desert. A person who withstands a test is deserving of reward because, through his heroism, Hashem’s Name is sanctified and other people are led to love and fear Him. (quoted from Shlomo Katz)

R’ Mordechai Yosef Leiner z”l (1801-1854; the Izbica Rebbe) writes that a person sometimes faces a challenge which he cannot pass, as was the case when Yehuda encountered Tamar. What is the purpose of such a test? In fact, a challenge that cannot be passed is not considered a test. Rather, the test is how a person will react to his failure. In Yehuda’s case, the test was whether he would confess and spare Tamar’s life (as he ultimately did).

Parshat Eikev provides a real clue to how this works. Midrashically, the word eikev, which also can mean “heel”, alludes to the the type of mitzvot that a person may regard as unimportant. In this way, a person may come to “tread upon them with his heel.” For some reason, being nice has become one of these neglected mitzvot.

Life is a big thing that consists of many small things. It may seem like nothing to hurt someone’s feelings, but then they do it to another and on and on. Ultimately, all the negative outcome rests squarely on the one who started the feud in the first place.

Parshat Eikev reminds us that if we are careful with these small things, than G-d will reward us with his covenant and kindness. If a person were to keep this in mind as they pass through their days, they could spread good will instead instead of strife and make the world a better place. Then, they just may find that their stresses will be transformed to strengths.